Wednesday, January 26, 2011
I don't have too many pictures of Joe on line...this one is rough he had been working in the front yard and was all "grizzled" as he liked to say. I have a bunch of good photo's that I have to burn to a disc...I bought the machine to transfer them just have not found the time as yet to do it. TIME...where does it go? I thought I had all the time in the world with him, we had planned so many things to do....day trips around Florida to sites we had not seen, we were going to head up to Norfolk, Virginia so I could visit my Aunt and put flowers on my Grandparents grave...on the way we planned to visit Joe's sister Jean in Georgia. We spoke about relocating out west in either Oregon or Washington State...we both missed the sight of mountains, valleys and heavily treed forests. It would also put us closer to where our youngest son is now living.....
Instead death came creeping quietly in on a normal Wednesday morn to steal my love away....suddenly, in his sleep.
My Joe was sort of my rock, he could fix things and problems too. Of course, we had in our relationship, big problems that were beyond both of us to fix...I am speaking about physical things, like the roof collapsing, the damage to the underlying structure was too severe to fix. Should never of bought a house built out of wood in Florida....and even when you check for termites doesn't mean a thing...cause a month later they can swarm in again.
We survived it....but the house is probably what made me sick to begin with and I think it played a huge part in Joe's death too. As much as he loved the property and all his plants he hated that house...I think because it bested him.
When I first came back to Florida I could not live in the house because of the mold so I stayed at my sisters & parents house for about six months...until we were able to purchase a mobile home in a quiet park in Saint Petersburg. It was an older model, but it had a screen porch, covered carport and extra large walk in shed on the pad too. It also had two bedrooms, kitchen, living room, bathroom and plenty of large closets. So it was ideal for the two of us. Joe had lost a lot of weight during the full year that I was not with him, I felt so guilty about this...even though I made care packages for him at my sisters.
At first, Joe seemed to perk up a bit being back together and all...he added a bit of weight - but about three months into the new year (2010) he started complaining about food bothering his stomach, couldn't stand the smell of my cooking with any spices...and he cut back on what he ate. I tried to get him to go to a doctor and he refused, saying it's just simple indigestion. It wasn't.
Because of my near death experience Joe & I often spoke about death...I came out of it not so afraid of death anymore. He accepted that and also believed in an afterlife. He absolutely knew he would see his Ma & Pa, Mom & Dad and brothers again. He kept telling me that he would feel like he was "going home" and also that Doscher's check out fast, they don't hang around once the gong has sounded....and that's exactly what he did.....